Saturday, October 10, 2009

How the Grinch (Almost) Stole our Farmland




The Melancthon people liked farming a lot
But Lowndes, an outsider, really did not

Lowndes hated farming! All the farming seasons!
Now, please don't ask why. We ALL know the reasons.

Staring down from his office with a John Lowndsey sneer
"Surely the end of Melancthon is near!"

He thought all the hicks in Melancthon would bite
And were too busy farming to put up a fight

"They are busy planting and digging!" he snarled with a sneer.
"While my open pit mine, is practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Lowndsey fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep the mine coming!"

And he thought and he thought
...In his small Lowndsey brain...

And that old John Lowndes, he was ever so wise
The hicks would never realize their coming demise

The locals would think they were unable to win
They would move from their farms and take all their kin

But they started complaining, and then to object
But Lowndes thought by golly I am not finished yet

Now the more Lowndes thought of his devilish plan
The more Lowndes did think: “I must own ALL the land!”

“Why I practically own all of Melancthon now!
To own all the rest would be my greatest cash cow!

Then he got an idea, a brilliant idea!
LOWNDES GOT A WONDERFUL, EVIL IDEA!

And he cackled with glee “What a great Lowndsey trick!
With my money and talent, I’ll bamboozle these hicks!

But to his stupendous surprise the hicks all fought back
With a grassroots organization that they called NDACT

“No!” Lowndes cried out, in a murderous rage
As tears of frustration ran down his smug face

His minion called Mikey stood up for his boss
Trying to keep residents from realizing their loss

But now Lowndes gave Mikey a clear ultimatum
“Decimate NDACT, or you’ll see what I’m made of!”

Lowndes sent wee Mikey
Out into the world

Armed with clipboard and binder
And oh, did he toil!

He went to each meeting
And sat with those hicks

Who would not fall for his lies
Or his devilish tricks

At the end of the day, little Mikey returned
With a book full of notes and facts that he’d learned

He informed master Lowndes of his final call:
“Have mercy, kind master, they’ve outsmarted us all!”

We’re finished we’re done, we just can’t dig a mine
And all the locals and yokels thought that that was just fine.

1 comment:

  1. Suess would be proud...noticed you left out the part about his heart growing...good choice...Lowndes obviously lives and breathes without one!

    ReplyDelete

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