Tuesday, December 21, 2010


The opening face off occurred at 7:10, December 20, 2010 at the sporting venue located at 203 Main Street East. 

The Home team had two absent players (one chronically absent and one usually chronically late, but finally it turned out was unusually absent) but there were still five "men" on the ice.

The opposing team was in a position to provide fresh players all night.  

The Assistant Captain, in the absence of the Captain, took the opening faceoff and played a good solid two periods.

He deftly stick handled issues, passed the puck when appropriate, took shots on net when the opportunity arose, played as a full team member, acknowledging his team mates and their valuable contribution to the overall outcome of the game.

He deferred to the full time professional coaching staff when needed, was cognizant and respectful of the spectators in the stand and at the close of the second period the home team was well positioned for a win. 

The Assistant Captain even took the time to handle a particularly obnoxious heckler in the stands. Calling her to the boards, using his boyish charm and his master debater skills he convinced her to enjoy the game and come back to another one later in the season.

Third period:
Many of the spectators had left, feeling the home team was in a superior position and the game was pretty well over.  Only the die-hards remained.

An obvious tension between the Assistant Captain and the opposing star player had been building during the first two periods, over a public foul committed by the Assistant Captain.

Then the opposing team’s star player, taking the ice for the first time in the game, takes a breakaway down centre ice: HE shoots, he SCORES!!!!! 

The home team is suddenly on the defensive. The players tense while the Assistant Captain and opposing star dropped the gloves and squared off at centre ice, exchanging jabs and light blows, seemingly equally matched.  

Eventually the two players appeared to achieve a mutual agreement to end the dispute. 

Suddenly the Assistant Captain dealt a glancing blow on the opposing star player as his back was turned while picking his gloves off the ice.  

The ancient reporter in attendance was jerked out of his deep REM sleep, momentarily wondering where the hell he was (and wondering where he could find the bathroom real quick), almost dropping his quill pen and ink bottle, roused when the astounded spectators in the stand gasped and murmured in disbelief at the Assistant Captain's unexpected assault.  

The Assistant Captain’s team mates froze, in stunned silence, sticks clacking and bouncing noisily as they dropped to the ice.

No words can describe what happened next....so it is fortunate that someone recorded the outcome and posted it on youtube. (Hint, the Assistant Captain is wearing red)  

Click here for what happened:

Bet the Assistant Captain is feeling it today.

PS-we can't afford a YMCA

1 comment:

  1. I guess you had to be there. This makes no sense. What is this about???